Friendship is such a precious commodity in anyone's life because it aids in allowing us to reach the conclusion that maybe we aren't alone in this world. When we live out our lives without the realization that friendship is in fact a necessity for any given individual, it becomes so easy to start believing that we are capable of existing in this world without any external resources to help us reach our final destinations in the lives that we live. More importantly, it allows satan to encourage us to entertain the thought that maybe we don't need God at all. Now, you might be asking, 'How in the world can you reach such a conclusion by just drawing a parallel comparison between friendship and my relationship with God?' The answer is simple. When we begin convincing ourselves that we don't need anyone's help to reach the goals that we have set for ourselves, we essentially allow the possibility to include God in this generalization; and consequently, this notion creates a black hole within our souls that can eventually brainwash us into thinking that God is not necessary in our immediate lives as well. This is why I believe Jesus did not leave this earth without establishing a solid foundation within the church that would eventually become the body of Christ. I believe that one of the reasons why the Church and its core essence has thrived over time is because God wanted to remind us everyday that we are not alone in this world; and therefore, the very existence of church serves as a daily reminder that it is not natural to believe we can do things on our own. However, we will discuss this in greater detail later.
Friendship
If the lowest common denominator in relationships is acquaintances, then friendship is the next step up. There are so many reasons why friendships exist in our lives. Some friendships exist because of ulterior motives, some because of a common interest, some because it is mutually beneficial, and some because it just feels natural. Whatever the reason is for being in any given friendship, one aspect is usually held constant: we maintain such friendships because we either feel there is no need to end the friendship or because we are benefitting from the friendship. However, once the aspect of maintaining a friendship does not fall into one of these two categories, we usually end up terminating the friendship in question: that is, if we know what's best for us.
When we take the next step up in intimacy with someone that was originally just an acquaintance, there are a few "upgrades" that we can utilize in a more complex relationship that is a friendship. Firstly, the mere existence of the friendship allows you to spend more time with this friend. Secondly, the friendship becomes a resource in which you can choose to utilize or take for granted. And lastly, the existence of a friendship allows you to gain a third person perspective in the world in which you live. Needless to say, though there are many more aspects of a friendship that far outweighs the benefits of simply being an acquaintance, I will focus on these three key aspects so that we can maintain a focused direction.
Though acquaintances may lack the dynamics and depth to really possess the diversity to set apart one acquaintance from another, friendships can be vastly different depending on who the friendship is with. With that being said, friendships have a much greater capacity in which you can choose to pour yourself into than an acquaintance might have. Picture two cups in varying sizes for example. Let's say a very shallow cup represents an acquainted relationship, while a 20oz cup represents a friendship. In the shallow cup, there is not much difference between a full one and and empty one. However, in a 20oz cup, there is a vast difference between a 20oz cup with very little water poured into it and a 20oz cup that has been filled to the brim. In the same way, friendships can be as intimate as you want or as shallow as you want. There are some "friendships" in our lives that we enjoy simply because they are convenient and they fulfill the basic need to not feel alone by spending time with them. However, there are some "friendships" we hold onto very dearly because there is a shared intimacy that cannot be so easily extinguished by trivial circumstances such as distance, disputes, and other relationships. With that being said, though there is a big difference between a shallow cup and a 20oz cup, one mutual fact remains: they are both cups with a limited capacity. This realization can be as profound or as trivial as you choose it to be; but in the end, this is a realization we all must come to terms with at some point in our lives. There are defined boundaries that we cannot ignore when it comes to acquaintances and friendships. However, there are a few relationships in our lives that we may coin as "best friends" that do not share such a limited capacity in common; but, that will be for another day.
Now that we have painted a large enough picture in order to portray what a friendship looks like, let's take the time to apply this image to a more isolated realm: Christian friendships. As I mentioned earlier, I believe one of the reasons why the existence of church has thrived throughout the years is because it has served as a reminder to Christians that we cannot live in this fallen world alone. I believe the book of Acts does a great job of supporting this belief. Acts 2:42-47 says:
"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
When it comes to the body of Christ and addressing the realities of the fact that we do not live in an ideal world, we begin to see that though there shouldn't be any discrepancies between acquaintances and friends within the body of Christ, there still remains distinct differences between the two. For example, you would probably be more inclined and convicted to aid a friend in need than you would just a mere acquaintance: regardless of the fact they are both within the body of Christ. For this very reason, we should acknowledge the need to nurture friendships within the body of Christ; because, fellowship and quality time with other brothers and sisters in Christ helps eradicate this extraneous variable. Ask yourself this question. Would you be more inclined to confide in an acquaintance or a friend when it comes to sharing your struggles in your walk with God? If it doesn't really make a difference and you are equally able to confide in an acquaintance as you are with a friend in Christ, then there probably is no need to distinguish such a difference. However, if this is not the case, you can begin to understand why it is crucial to nurture more than just acquaintances within the body of Christ. We as Christians need to realize that we are better off living life with the aid of external resources rather than living this life alone. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). Therefore, we must surround ourselves with Christian friends that can help us with our struggles and walk with God.
Now let us take one step deeper into this train of thought and begin to depict the correlation between a friendship and our relationship with God. There are many Christians that are friends with God. At the bare minimum, being friends with God shows us that as long as there is no reason to terminate the relationship or we are actually benefiting from the relationship with God, there is no need to cease our "friendship" with God. Being friends with God means that we are able to spend quality time with Him, come to Him if we need help, and take advantage of a third person perspective when it comes to the lives that we live. However, the same limitations in a friendship applies to our relationship with God in the event that we are nothing more than just "friends." In this I mean, once a conflict or circumstance in our lives presents itself as a big enough reason to cease our "friendship" with God or we feel like we are not benefitting from Him (according to our own limited understanding), we will be much more inclined to turn our backs on Him if "friendship" is the extent of our relationship. This is why there is a crucial need to harvest a deeper relationship with God, because we must establish a relationship with Him that knows no boundaries and is not limited by conditional love. If God is willing to love us unconditionally, what gives us the right to put conditions on our love for Him? For this reason, we must not be satisfied with being "just friends" with God; instead, we must be best friends and this is what I shall address in my next entry.
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